Saturday, June 15, 2013

I need to say this

It’s been a wild ride so far, this BOD thing. Bowi calls me a member of the bored of directors. Yet I am totally the opposite. I have been constantly on my toes, concerned about one thing or another, working on a task, or meeting with people. It’s a full job, and I’ve been involved in this for more than a couple of months, I think.

For the past weeks I have relegated my income-earning projects to second priority. Only because there are things to do for the school, which is supposed to open in June. Because time is of the essence, school-related work needs to be finished before anything else. And also because, like I always say, it is my son’s school and he likes going there, and loves the people there. And finally because I love the children and could not bear to stay in the sidelines and simply watch as the school struggles to survive. Again, it’s my Sagittarian spirit showing itself, definitely unaware of the hurdles it needs to overcome in the coming months.

When I accepted the position a few months ago, things were a mess. I don’t want to sugarcoat this fact because this is the truth and I only want to write the truth here because it’s my blog. Things were a mess because there were people with huge egos, hypocrites who think they were entitled to things bigger than what they truly deserved. The children were fine, but the adults were making things complicated and ugly. As a newbie, I didn’t know who were on the side of good and those who were not. As the days passed, I began to understand many things, like pieces of a puzzle falling in place. Today as I write this, I have a clearer view of the whole picture. I cannot say I understand everything but at least I know some of the why’s and the who’s.

These are people who will do malicious things, and hide behind the cloak of innocence and righteousness. I am only doing this for the children, they’d say. Or, let us uphold the values and principles of our educational system. They say pretty things and blink their eyes, then turn around and ruin what many people, including innocent children, are trying to build so patiently with their bare hands. Ruthless beings who, on the outside, look every inch professional. Educated, decent-looking people whom the children look up to, trust and love, but who are capable of such malice and selfishness. I do not know how they can sleep at night.

If it were not for the respect that I have for my co-directors, I would have confronted these people. In two of my co-board members I saw such calmness and compassion and yes, love for those who attack us, directly or otherwise. The board never answered back nor gave them a dose of their medicine, which has always been my preferred action as far as school matters are concerned. But I am not the majority. I have the freedom, however, to write my honest thoughts here. I am writing not as a member of the board, but as a disgusted human being. At my age, I am still amazed how some people can be so cunning and vicious.

Where do you draw the line between compassion and justice? Surely there must be a limit to what you can ignore or let pass. How long should I fight this battle? It is easy to give up and simply move to a new school. Why am I even doing this? (Did I mention the BOD does not get a single centavo for all the hard work and the stress they go through?) The negativity coming off of these people is enough to make a person sick, so why am I even staying on? If I were a quitter, I’d say to the attackers, knock yourselves out, and then go.

I want nothing more than to have a good school for the kids. What about you, what do you want? These are my questions for those who seem to enjoy the demolition job that they have been doing. What will make you happy? Does it fulfill you to ruin our children’s school? I am this close to naming names, but I won’t, again out of respect for the people who have been working so hard for the school. But you know who you are, better yet, God knows who you are.

It’s become a true test of character, this whole business. Now I am sad, frustrated, angry and disappointed. I am human, after all. I cannot be indifferent. I cannot be calm, soft-spoken and composed all the time. Yet I cannot stop hoping and trying, if only for the children. I cannot let it break my spirit and put out the fight in me.

It’s a battle between good and evil, and the children are counting on the good to win this.

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