Thursday, September 20, 2012

The first two pages of my Zen notebook





Zen is not intellectual. There is nothing to hold on to.

* * *

What, if not thoughts, will bring us to realization? Something deeper than thoughts. You will know it when it happens.

* * *

There is no right and no wrong in zen. What is right today may be wrong tomorrow, depending on circumstances.

* * *

Everything will pass away. So don't fool yourself.

* * *

The ultimate liberation is: no conflict, no struggle.

* * *

Real masters are decisive.

* * *

Discipline. Strong mind. Strong will.

* * *

In morning silence
is everything, and nothing
but the white stillness

* * *

Zen is the mind's poetry
It is the soul's poetry

* * *

Sitting is catching a moment
Sitting is owning a moment

* * *

From gray,
the wall
slowly
lightens.

* * *

When you silence the mind,
you silence the body
And when you let the mind fly,
the body grows wings

* * *

And the story that came out today on Rappler: http://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/12710-zen-stillness-and-nothing-else

* * *

And the full, unedited text here:


Everything and nothing but the white stillness

To be happy, all you need is a cushion and a wall.

I believe I came up with this statement at a time when I was into Zen meditation around 2009. It was a trying time, personally, and I needed peace in my life. I found a zendo in Marikina. Or perhaps, the zendo found me.

I met Rollie del Rosario, who was to be my sensei. And I met Ada Javellana Loredo, who became a friend. Ada is a talented painter, a professor in Ateneo, and an aikidoka for all of 22 years. I have always marveled at her lightness. And I think she has that genuine smile—the kind that lights up a room.

For this short feature on Rappler, I met her at a cafe. On the day of our interview, I gave her a few purple vanda blossoms which, to our delight, matched her shirt. Over cups of Cafe Americano, we talked about how zen meditation has helped us and some of the people we know.

Just like magic

“Internally, there are changes,” Ada explains. “But people probably won’t see it. I rarely get mad now, I would still get angry once in a while, but it would go away quickly. I could blow the anger away.”

Is that a conscious effort, I ask her.

“It’s effortless,” she clarifies. “I can let go of the annoying things, minor irritations. I don’t worry about those anymore. It would take a lot to hurt me. Sometimes I also surprise myself!” Ada laughs.

As a professor, Ada usually checks essay tests, which is a challenge for many teachers. “I used to take lots of breaks to finish checking a set of test papers,” she confesses. “But one day, I finished all 35 papers in one sitting and I didn’t even notice the time! Before that day, it has never happened to me, ever.”

“It was like magic. The focus was there so I wasn’t thinking of anything else. I was very mindful of what I was doing.”

The monkey that is the mind

Zen meditation is not a religion. It is not a movement, nor is it a philosophy. Ada says that Zen meditation is a practice: what you do (one’s practice), and what you often do to master something (as in, practice makes perfect).

In Zen meditation, mindfulness is taught. “The goal is to be mindful of every moment of your life,” says Ada. One is supposed to form this habit of mindfulness by sitting in meditation for at least thirty minutes every day (zazen). One helpful technique is to focus on and count your breath from one to ten, and then count back to one again. Do that over and over for thirty minutes and you would have practiced Zen meditation.
This is easier said than done, and both Ada and I agree that we’ve rarely, if at all, managed to reach up to ten breaths without the monkey mind wandering off to God-knows-where.

Physically demanding

Zen meditation does not stop at taming the mind, it also works on the body. As a practice that originated in Japan, it strictly requires its practitioners to observe proper posture. The spine should be straight, the legs folded underneath, or held in a lotus or semi-lotus position, the shoulders thrown back, the gaze straight and softly focused on a blank wall in front, and the hands in a certain mudra (spiritual gesture of the hands).

“There was a time during a sit when I tried to stand up for kinhin (walking meditation) while my entire leg was still numb from sitting,” Ada recalls. “I injured my ankle and I had to use a cane for a time because of it.”

Zen practitioners are encouraged to take up tai chi or yoga to prepare the body for long sits, especially sesshins. A sesshin is a period of intensive meditation inside a zendo. Ada defines one sesshin day as “excruciating pain for nine hours, with breaks.” But she continues to go on these retreats anyway, for at least three times a year.

A glimpse of Zen

Founded in 1976 by Sr. Elaine MacInnes, OLM, and Yamada Koun Roshi, the Zen Center of Oriental Spirituality in the Philippines (ZCP), where Ada and I met, belongs to the Sanbo Kyodan (Three Treasures Teaching Group) lineage of Kamakura, Japan. According to its website: The Sanbo Kyodan zen sect combines the best of the Soto (sustained zazen) and the Rinzai (koan practice) schools of zen. It was founded by Yasutani Haku’un Roshi on 8 January 1954. Unlike most other schools of zen, the Sanbo Kyodan does not require its followers to embrace the Buddhist religion. Some of its masters and teachers are, in fact, Christian priests, pastors, or nuns.

Those who are interested to learn more about zen meditation are invited to attend Glimpse into Zen (introductory talk) on September 23, 2012. The event will be from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. at 34 St. Claire corner St. Catherine, Provident Village, Marikina. For more information, please contact Lisa M. Pilapil through 0920.570.9709 or email her at lisa_pilapil@ yahoo.com




Tuesday, September 18, 2012

My Sagittarian spirit

"Those who invented the zodiac were mythmakers who wanted to preserve universal truths in the unchanging sky. That is one way of reconnecting with your inner self. In Medieval astro, you are your Ascendant, not your Sun sign. Your Mars is in Aries. Aries is the warrior. Sagittarius is called the divine warrior."

- Resti Santiago, Medieval Astrologer (in a PM addressed to me)



My rising sign is Sagittarius. And some of my friends who are also into astrology have told me that I have the tendency to scatter my arrows. Meaning, take up things on a whim, start all kinds of endeavors, nurture many interests. In other words, walang focus.

This could be a bad thing. But I would like to believe, because I have surprisingly become a positive person (or it could be something that has always been inside of me, this positive attitude), that in my case, this is a good thing. I tend to start projects as soon as thoughts about them inhabit my mind.

Some people have a hard time with beginnings. I don't. A blank sheet of paper, for example, doesn't intimidate me. A daunting task usually doesn't scare me. When I started a small children's organization, Isang Bata (www.isangbata.blogspot.com), pure energy and inspiration fueled my actions. It wasn't easy, but it flowed naturally. And I flowed with it.

In 2011, I joined an international humanitarian agency as a consultant. I worked with them for a couple of years and those two years were pure torture, as far as dealing with Finance and Admin was concerned. I liked the work, and in fact have given a lot to fulfill my responsibilities (the job entailed travel to Maguindanao, Cotabato, and other high-risk areas). My experiences here deserve a separate entry altogether. Anyway.

It came to a point where I needed to send strongly-worded messages to my contacts in the agency because the relationship had become utterly abusive, one-sided, and unjust. One day perhaps I could write about this in greater detail. And then it came to a point where I got so pissed that I had to do something more concrete and more pro-active than simply send biting emails to Finance.

Take note that at that point, I had 18 solid years of experience in freelance writing under my belt, and I knew for a fact that it was not an isolated case. Decent clients are so hard to find and writers, specifically Filipino freelance writers, have been getting the dirty end of the deal for DECADES.

The time was ripe for the Freelance Writers' Guild of the Philippines.

Fast forward to September 16, 2012, more than a year after I thought about forming an organization of Filipino freelance writers that will protect the welfare of these marginalized and undervalued workers: members of the Guild (total of 450, with close to a hundred in attendance) gathered together for the second General Assembly.

It was a productive, enlightening, and highly successful event. I brought my son with me, of course. Towards the end of the event, however, I developed a horrible migraine and could not function anymore. But apart from this temporary affliction, I thought the activity exceeded all expectations.

Here are the highlights, in pictures.


Delivering my welcome speech: If writers will not settle for peanuts, bad clients will have to settle for bad grammar.


The crowd during the 2nd General Assembly of FWGP


Celine Roque gave a riveting presentation. Which Bowi understood.


Depressing: Presenting the Rates Survey the Guild conducted among freelance writers.


Mabuhay ang Pilipinong manunulat!


Ms. Southern Illinois was our guest, together with NASA scientist Jojo Sayson.


Bowi was master of raffle ceremonies :) He had fun doing this, obviously.


Dino Manrique and Bebang Siy with the Executive Committee members, minus Claire, Lorna and myself.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Another way of looking at the RH Bill



Several months ago, I interviewed a Catholic priest about the RH Bill. He doesn't oppose it for the same reasons that other priests may have. His view is entirely fresh, helped of course by the fact that he is also a doctor, a doctor of Ayurveda.

This is an unpublished article, more like a collection of notes from the interview, actually. And I'm putting it out for the first time here on my blog. You may share with proper attribution.

= = =


Father Jacob on the RH Bill
Interview by Ime Morales

Father Jacob Gnalian, a missionary from Kerala, India, has lived in the Philippines for about 27 years. He is a Catholic priest and doctor of ayurveda who opened Sandhi Ayurveda Clinic in Mandaluyong to help more Filipinos live healthier lives. Fr. Jacob, as he is warmly called by patients and friends, has helped more than 4,000 patients in the Philippines get better. Many of his patients have terminal and “incurable” illnesses, yet many of these patients can attest to the power of Fr. Jacob’s ayurvedic medicines, coupled with appropriate lifestyle changes.

As priest, philosopher (he has a PhD in Philosophy), and a professional working in the field of healthcare, Fr. Jacob has important views on the controversial Reproductive Health Bill. His thoughts on this are summarized in this series of short texts below.

On overpopulation

It is not really the population that is the problem and the cause of poverty. There are many Filipinos who have billions of unused money. It’s the lack of mutual trust, untruthfulness, and mismanagement of resources that is the cause—mismanagement both on the level of government and individual.

In the Philippines, there are very few places where people cannot live. Unlike India, where there are places with no rain, no water. India is 11 times bigger than the Philippines, and the population around 16 times higher. Manila is congested, but many other places are not. More people should move to these places. How many hectares of land are uncultivated and unused? We now have the technology to build high rise buildings for the people. People are a country’s resource.

The reason for poverty

Many “poor” people are not really poor. They are only poor because they don’t know how to use the money that they have. I have talked to more than 10,000 people over the course of many years of practice as doctor and priest. Once I met a 43-year old “poor” man whom, after I made some computations, I found out had spent more than P1.3 million over the years just on cigarettes and alcohol. People living in squatter’s areas spend money on cigarettes and alcohol and other unnecessary things on a daily basis. They misuse their money so they become poor. In Nueve de Pebrero, a community near my clinic, I see truckloads of softdrinks, beer and other junk being delivered every day. And the rest of unnecessary stuff like cigarettes, junk food, etcetera? The so-called poor people consume all these.

One of the reasons for poverty is unimaginably high interest rates (on debts) for the poor and low interest rates for the rich. For the poor, the interest rate is 60% to 120% or even more, while the interest rate for the rich is 5% to 10%. The fruits of the hard work of the poor go to the rich. How then can the poor improve their financial condition? The rich has property to use as collateral, but the poor people don’t. There is a need for collateral because of the untruthfulness of people, rich and poor people alike.

On another note, subsidy from the government usually goes to the rich and does not reach the poor because of corruption in the system. There is an urgent need, therefore, to eradicate corruption, give proper education, learn and practice truthfulness, make use of resources properly, and follow the human natural law for population.

People can save money if only they only knew how to manage their resources. Poverty happens out of ignorance. The so-called poor are often uneducated individuals. But by education I don’t mean having a degree. Education is knowing the value of things—not only their moral value, but also their economic value. The proper way of using money is a value. This is an aspect that is missing in our current education system. “Poor” people don’t value money, that is why they remain “poor”. Money has its own value, and we need to respect that value.

The difference between man and animal

There are five aspects at work in the universe: matter, plant life, animals, man, and pure spirit. Man has all five, and that is why he is called the micro-universe. Everything that is in the universe is present in man, and only in man. Man is the perfection of creation. He has his own values and his own set of natural laws to follow. Each of the five aspects has its own natural laws to follow.

This is the reason why, for example, cows have a 9-month pregnancy period, similar to the human female. One difference between cow and woman, however, is that the calf, within a few minutes after it is born, already has the ability to stand up and look for its mother for milk. After a few days, it can survive even without its mother. A human baby, on the other hand, needs about one year before he can stand up, a few more months before he learns to go to his mother for food. If the human infant is left alone, it cannot survive. But many animals can survive without assistance after they are born. These are some of the natural laws, and they are different for each specie.

Man is spiritual, with an animal nature. He can think, study, progress. Animals can’t. They can be trained, but that is only on the level of instinct. Man has spiritual power, given by the divine. This power is the power to control, which is only given to man. The human infant can’t take care of himself because the mother should be taking care of him until such time that the child can take care of himself. And this is the natural time that the mother can get pregnant again. If we will consider man’s natural law, human beings cannot give birth every year. But as an animal, she can do so. The natural law for human beings is not to give birth every year. Natural law dictates that people should have spacing. But to understand and actually implement this, people need to be educated.

God gave the gift of spiritual power to man, the gift and ability to control. This power is not controlled by God or nature. And if one is given a gift, one has the responsibility to handle it responsibly. At the same time, we are given the free will to choose what kind of life we want to have. Like animals, we have instincts. But as human beings, we cannot follow only our instincts. Dogs will mate anywhere and anytime, acting on their instincts. But as higher beings, man has the power to control the same instincts.

On the use of condoms

When you use a condom, you are acting not as a human being and refusing to use your spiritual power. You are giving all your power to the condom. If you want to have sexual contact with just anybody, you are living like an animal that doesn’t have the ability to control instincts and urges.

Man’s sexual desire is there because man is a perfect animal. As human beings, we were given the power to control this desire and use it at a proper time and in the right manner. When some people want to drink alcohol, they drink. When they want to have sex, they have sex. But this is the natural tendency of animals, not man’s. As human beings, we can’t just do what we like.

The problem with the RH Bill

Reproductive Health, by its name alone, is not to be disputed. Reproductive health should be agreeable to everybody. Any kind of health, including reproductive health, is good for everyone. Therefore, the title is not the problem, but the content that follows the title. If there is something wrong within the bill, it means that the title is not right.

Not all the provisions in the RH Bill are bad. But it is important to eliminate what is bad from the bill, and take what is right. Do not mix up good and bad things together.

Gender education, for example, is not a problem. It is good to teach a young girl how to behave like a girl, etcetera. But there is a way to teach sex education to young people. The children should be taught how to live properly. If you teach them how to use a condom, you are putting them at the level of animals and killing their dignity as persons.

It is also important to study the motivations of people who authored and who are pushing for the bill. Who is behind this bill? What are the objectives of the bill? Is it to control population? Is there big business behind this? If people all over the Philippines start buying condoms and pills, who will profit from this? What are the provisions in the bill? Is human dignity being respected? Is it motivated by profit? I don’t speak about these things as a Catholic priest, but as a human being. And I realize that there are exceptions. For instance, situations where women should be allowed to use contraceptives. If the life of a patient is at stake, for example, ligation would be necessary.

Are pills really safe?

Contraceptives are unhealthy. Hormones going into the body, in any form, could cause cancer, particularly breast cancer. Hormone replacement could also cause cancer. Contraceptive pills destroy the reproductive system. I have seen patients who come to me with damaged reproductive systems. They can’t conceive anymore. And I found out they used to take contraceptive pills in the past.

Recommendations

Natural method is recommended. If a woman’s monthly period is regular, she can use the calendar method. In a month, it takes only around a week to abstain from sex. Is this impossible for man? If you are an animal, you can’t do it.

If a woman’s period is not regular, she can use the temperature or the mucus method. If your temperature is high, it means you are ovulating. If the mucus is hard, it is a safe period. If it is light, then the woman is ovulating. These are easy methods that even uneducated people can learn and practice.

It is also important to give values education to the children: cultural, economic, human and religious values. I know for a fact that there is an order that gives the church the privilege of conducting sessions in public schools for a maximum of 90 minutes. The church can use this time to teach public school children about faith, religion and moral values. Aside from this, values education should be included in the regular curriculum in schools, as well as in textbooks. However, I want to make it clear that teachers must talk about values, not contraceptives. And values education must be handled by teachers who practice these values themselves.

To address the problem of poverty, the corruption in government should stop. No government has the right to speak about poverty until they stop corruption in their own ranks. Stop the greed first, then write the bill. Don’t fool the people. It’s the people’s money that is being spent on this. Stopping the greed is the best thing to do for good health, because greed makes people unhealthy. If the state loves its people, it should not be greedy. If there are good intentions, there are so many ways to help. But today a lot of people don’t have political will. They behave like animals.

Family planning should be taught, especially to couples who undergo the seminar before marriage. But instead of teaching them about real family planning, they teach the use of contraceptives. Family planning, in its real sense, is good and healthy. It should be all about planning how many children to have and how to care for them, how to love one another, be faithful to one another, how to build an ideal family, how to have a happy and healthy life, ways to obtain income and resources, how to have a house, get a livelihood. Family planning is not about the proper use of the condom to limit the number of offspring. This is not family planning, but propaganda for the condom.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I like simple days like this



1. I went to check out a new restaurant in Sikatuna with friends Irene and Bebang.



2. It was actually an ocular for FWGP.



3. I didn't like the food there, but the shakers were cute.



4. And then we walked to Bebang's house where this adorable all-black Persian also lives.



5. We met her kittens. One has been reserved for Bowi!



6. She showed us her Reader's Choice certificate! WTG!



7. And then we had a share of Poy's very sweet congratulatory cake for his lovey dovey ;)



8. Finally, we were brought to this hole-in-the-wall fresh lumpia place near Anonas. I must say, it deserves its "best-kept secret" reputation.

The walks, though tiring, were enjoyable. It was a thrill to look at pretty houses and watch (listen to) the trilling of the birds of Kamias.

Overall, a lovely day.

Monday, September 10, 2012

The way I work

I get up early for some Me time before everything else starts.

I personally prep Bowi for school: breakfast, bath, clothes, school bag, baon, the works.

After he's off to school, I start working. Most of the time, I write from home.

But when I need to attend a meeting or do an interview or cover an event, I sometimes bring him with me.

He listens in. He knows all about the "deep" stuff grownups talk about. He understands many concepts that are still vague to other kids his age. He knows about the issues of artists, writers, photographers, etcetera.

Best of all, he asks questions.

This is one of the reasons why I don't do the nine-to-five thing.

My work enriches my son's life in so many ways, fuels our discussions at night, broadens his understanding, makes him question the world around him.

This is how I work. And this is the way I like it.


During a recent interview I did for Rappler. I talked to writer-photographer Angel Carballo about her exhibit at the Senate.


During an interview with Dr. Maliekal from India, many months ago. This was for a story I wrote for GMA News Online.



And this is the article that inspired me to write this post:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/first-person-being-gen-x-working-mom-makes-161000303--finance.html

Saturday, September 1, 2012

I got reminded of these

I should look for some of my old poems to post on this blog. Here is a sample. Written about four years ago, this was created during a time of sadness.


From an old life

1.
Heroes Hill, Quezon City
April 2008

Curtains are a lazy ballerina
or smoke solidified into diaphanous
material: cream-colored, thicker where
the folds are, brighter where
sunlight shimmers through trees.
Ruby ribbons gather cloth
into lissom waists.
Today, I could go on
and on describing drapery.
I dice cheese into squares so even,
so square my son wonders why
they are too square. I say they
are nicer this way.
We eat them in the afternoon
with white rice cakes, tiny and
quartered. I could boil chocolate
tablets, too, in pure water
under low fire. But he simply
wanted water.
I’m back to a day five years ago
the smell of pine or generic forest
pulling me: let’s read Levertov,
or Howe, or Berry until the morning!
Listen to some drumming after.
Then at sunrise, before morning tea,
we can do a slow and dreamy
dance for humanity. Why not
for the galaxy? You see, one day
or one hundred years--
it really doesn’t matter. Today
I have all the time in the world.


2.
From a quiet place

When a beloved leaves,
life goes on.

A bitter space
waits in your hand
when a beloved leaves.

Oblivious to your numbness,
people will want to wound you
lightly, just because.

The sun has to try harder
and shoot its infinite rays golden
in gaps between the sunset cumulus
to rest and bless the sea,
the jumpy leaves, your dark hair.

Whole things are easier
to notice, your gaze stays longer
than needed on a brat, for example,
pulling at two parents,

or that thin girl inside the jeep
with her strident trappings:
multihued fuzzy
beads and boyfriend,
self-aware like a lovesong.

And the day will end, another day,
one more step towards the big question.
In your room, the sliver of moon
falls right in
the center of the window frame.
The stars arrange themselves
precisely about, flickering,
like you, between brilliance
and indifference.


This is a picture that goes very well with this poem. It reminds me of one sad day years and years ago.